Rollin' Like Sisyphus

Put Up Your Dukes

Posted in The Fail Pail by Huckleberry on October 7, 2010

So, the story of a Duke grad that made a joke “thesis” of her sexual escapades during her time there has been making the rounds ever since it busted out of the confines of the email accounts* of a few trusted friends, and, er, thrust her into the spotlight to be another model of What Is Wrong With Our Shit-Can Culture (Fall 2010 Edition).**
There will be many who throw up their hands and cast about with the Holy Hannahs and Oh Susannas and such, and while they will all have a point, the sad fact is that this is nothing new, except for the colossal ineptitude at play here.
Sure, it was dumb.
Yes, she went knees-to-the-sky for a relatively high number of guys (13) in a span of time that was less than one calendar year (11 months), and her only seeming requirement was that each guy be a University athlete.
The whole thing was so damned trite.
All marginal athletes, all fairly interchangeable, and her whole “brilliant” scoring metric is pretty much a smoke screen as the only ones who seemed to impress her overly much were those well endowed and who pushed her toward the edge of a latent rape fantasy.
Every other metric in her system is merely fluff.***
And that’s fine, for what it is, but a closer reading of each and every one of these reveals a woman who (despite the screeching from the feminist corners of the Internet) is not so much “confident” and “flipping the paradigm” as much as she is seeking attention.
As much “playing” as she’s doing, she is also being equally “played”.
So, despite her needing way too many words to say it, the whole farcical episode boils down to:

    Big dick + aggression + foreign accent = hotwetscorzlolzrotflmaofkdsldkjfsleijrlskdfwh!!1!
    Big dick + aggression = Excellent!!1!
    Small dick + aggression = meh
    Small dick + anything else = Teh Lozerlolz!!1!

So, naturally, because of that the book, movie and television deals are already rolling in.
Soon to follow, of course, are the lawsuits and subpoenas.
Everything else in all of those PowerPoints is just useless fluff that says nothing and means even less.
But hey, at least she’s got a great jump start on her career as the office PowerPoint Generator.
Oh, and the office lay, but that was a given, I suppose.
Here is the well reasoned rebuttal.

* I’m sure it was all an accident and a terrible tragedy. Like the chick who randomly had acid thrown in her face by a passerby. Oh, wait…
** Which is all our “culture” is anymore, crazy stunts like this and hysterical commentary about What It All Means™.
*** For a girl that is so, well, plain looking, her lack of, how do you say, standards, I guess is not overly surprising.


3 Responses

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  1. Doom said, on October 8, 2010 at 06:37

    Sandwich and a beer! If I wasn’t so alpha I’d thank you.

  2. El Borak said, on October 8, 2010 at 18:32

    You’ve got a really nice asterisk.

  3. Doom said, on November 1, 2010 at 12:54

    Sandwich and a beer… then you go all blog commando.

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