Rollin' Like Sisyphus

When Stupid Questions Still Get You Home

Posted in A Chronicle Of Decline by Huckleberry on February 7, 2014

The men are here to save you now.

You may want to sit down for this one, but the City of Philadelphia, like many cities around the world, is experiencing sharply increasing and deadly crimes of opportunity. From smash mobs to knockout games to now a nearly pandemic level of purse-snatching, women in the City of, er, Brotherly Love are screeching about how they don’t feel safe, and I’ll give you three guesses as to whom they blame:

“Where are our men? Why are they not protecting us?” Sanchez continued, her voice full of frustration. “Men are failing us. I feel as though we are not being protected.”

At face value, one might assume that these women didn’t have any men around to protect them, but let’s check the tape:

In Thursday’s incident, a 24-year-old man and his girlfriend, 23, had just left his house on 26th Street near Lehigh Avenue at 11:53 p.m. when a thief grabbed the woman’s bag. When the boyfriend gave chase, a second man shot him in the chest.

So it’s not men’s fault? Who’s to blame here, dammit?

Again, let’s check the tape:

“She gave it up and she still was killed,” said Sanchez.“It’s 2:40 in the morning. She’s just coming out of the bar.

More tape:

“It’s like we’re walking around with a bull’s-eye,” said Michelle Martin, who has stopped carrying a purse and now keeps her money and identification tucked in her back pocket.

But some blame must surely still go to the quality of counsel these women are receiving:

He pointed out that the old code of the streets, that thieves don’t hurt women and children, is no longer honored. “This new generation, they don’t have a clue,” Glenn said disgustedly.

So, instead of encouraging women and the defenseless to stop walking around late at night in deeply urban areas with “bulls-eyes” draped over their shoulders, lets hold mid-morning demonstrations, flap our purses and gums in defiant ire, and castigate the dwindling moral character of our criminal class, who no longer have the decency to uphold a code of ethics that they never once in the history of humanity have adhered to.
The bastards.


4 Responses

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  1. Giraffe said, on February 7, 2014 at 13:00

    Huck must have woke up.

    It is just another case of “women hit hardest”. They haven’t seen anything yet. Wait till the welfare checks start bouncing.

    • Huckleberry said, on February 7, 2014 at 17:24

      just wait until the welfare checks start bouncing

      Yeah that aught to just about kick things off.

  2. El Borak said, on February 8, 2014 at 09:41

    women in the City of, er, Brotherly Love are screeching about how they don’t feel safe…

    Good news, women can now Feel Safe™ once again.

    • Huckleberry said, on February 9, 2014 at 12:21

      I see no reason why that wouldn’t. You don’t mess with Sasquatch.

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