Rollin' Like Sisyphus

Five Paver Stones Purchased From Good Intentions Incorporated

Posted in A Chronicle Of Decline by Huckleberry on December 2, 2014
Comin' in hot.

Comin’ in hot.

So there was a holiday weekend, they told me.
I want my money back.
Anyway, a grab bag of headlines prefaced with a descriptive onomatopoeia because I’m still just about out of gas, and the Devil’s rain is falling out of the sky like it’s the fucking apocalypse outside.

CHA-CHING — Nearly 134 million people shopped in stores and online over the four-day weekend, which was down 5.2 percent from last year, according to the National Retail Federation. Those estimates are based on a survey of 4,631 people conducted by Prosper Insights & Analytics for the trade group. Total spending for the weekend is expected to fall 11 percent to $50.9 billion from an estimated $57.4 billion last year, the trade group estimated.

WOOOOSH — According to Norway’s armed forces, the video shows a Russian MiG-31 suddenly cut in front of one of two Norwegian aircraft sent up by NATO to intercept Russian aircraft in international airspace north off Norway. “What the hell,” says the Norwegian F-16 pilot in the video, as he dodges the MiG-31 passing him at a distance estimated to be closer than 20 meters (65 feet) … On Sunday, Norwegian defense authorities also released a fresh video of a previously reported Oct. 31 encounter between Norwegian F-16s and Russia’s newest jet fighter, the Su-34, off the coast of Norway. The observation marked the first time the Su-34 was spotted flying in international airspace off Norway. Authorities said the armed forces have picked up a new trend among Russian military pilots, alleging they are flying in larger formations and acting more aggressively than before.

POOOOOF — As reported two weeks ago, following a stunning announcement by the head of Ukraine’s central bank, Valeriya Gontareva, on primetime TV we learned that (virtually) all of Ukraine’s gold was gone, or – in the parlance of Jon Corzine – had “vaporized.” And as we also predicted two weeks ago, it was only a matter of time before Ukraine’s people – the vast majority of whom are innocent pawns in a vast game of realpolitik between the west and east – finally got angry and demanded some answers, if not heads. That time came earlier today when as reported “a Kyiv-based court has instructed Kyiv prosecutors to bring an action against National Bank of Ukraine (NBU) Governor Valeriya Gontareva on charges of abuse of power or misuse of office to obtain illegal profit, the Vesti newspaper reported on Tuesday.”

BOOOOOM — Police spokeswoman Petra Datscher said Monday a World War II grenade apparently landed on a tree during fighting. It was then enveloped by wood growing around it to the point that it was invisible when the tree was chopped down for firewood and sold to the supermarket where the unidentified 22-year-old woman bought it. The blast Sunday in the lakeside town of Gmunden shattered the stove’s glass panel, but the sturdy wrought-iron stove prevented injuries.

SPLOSH — If that wasn’t mind-bending enough, the events that occur before the particles clump—that is, before the Big Bang—orients a second direction of time. If you play the events backward from this point, the particles will appear to disperse from the clump. Because complexity is increasing in this backward direction, this second arrow of time also points into the past. Which, according to this second time direction, is actually the “future” of another universe that exists on the other side of the Big Bang … In the case of the universe, there’s nothing outside it, so you need a quantity that doesn’t rely on any units of measurement. Complexity, as the researchers define it, is a dimensionless ratio and fits the bill.

I’m out.


2 Responses

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  1. Doom said, on December 3, 2014 at 01:40

    The last one was pure, unadulterated, bullshit. Who is their writer? They need a new one. Don’t even look at me, or any of the previous authors. Find a sci-fi writer who doesn’t suck. All I’m saying the more on that.

  2. El Borak said, on December 3, 2014 at 08:16

    Don’t you know that #1 happened because the economy is so good?

    [National Retail Federation] CEO Matt Shay … also attributed the declines to better online offerings and an improving economy where “people don’t feel the same psychological need to rush out and get the great deal that weekend, particularly if they expected to be more deals,” he said.

    So people didn’t bite on the Black Friday deals because they don’t need any deals and are expecting more deals later. Yeah, that makes sense.

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