Rollin' Like Sisyphus

The Next-To-Last Picture Show

Posted in The Fail Pail by Huckleberry on December 18, 2014
Because the world's best hackers obviously don't need electricity to wreck havoc on an unsuspecting world.

Because the world’s best hackers obviously don’t need electricity to wreck havoc on an unsuspecting world.

Here’s a brain teaser for you:
How does a technologically backwards country that has isolated itself from the rest of the world in a multitude of ways for the past 60~ years, whose primary industry is the construction, maintenance and operation of political prisons, whose chief import is political prisoners, whose chief export is dark comedy, how does that country utilize a seemingly sophisticated cyberattack on a presumably secure, relatively fortified international conglomerate?
I’ll wait here patiently transcribing Ivanhoe phonetically, then I’ll take that transcription and recreate it through thumbnail-size glyphs, then I’ll take the results and translate them back into Victorian English, and then I’ll review it carefully to see how faithfully the whole thing represents the original.
And if I still have time after all that while waiting for you to square that circle, I’ll head out for a beer.
Not only am I not convinced that North Korea somehow made the leap from pre-industrial peasantland to arch techno-terrorists in the blink of an eye, I’m not entirely convinced that anyone hacked Sony Entertainment. My gut feeling says this is all still an elaborate exercise in meta-viral marketing that maybe got carried too far afield.
Either that or there were hackers who successfully found a treasure trove of dirt, and Sony pulled the The Interview not out of security fears but because the hackers found something truly destructive – on the level of child molestation kind of stuff – and the execs don’t want any part of that leaking out, so no movie for you.
Still, even money says this is all marketing.

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One Response

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  1. Doom said, on December 19, 2014 at 02:11

    I believed it to be an insider job, if probably for no better reasons than what the rest of the place stands for. Money? Access? The movie they killed is irrelevant, just a pick that some might believe as the target. Still, your story is good. Mine is a few sentences. You take your time, cross the t’s, dot i’s, and such. I simply can’t be bothered to care about the inner workings of Sodom. Or is it Gomorrah? The place will burn. You can’t be on the side of communists, socialists, and muslims, and all other things wicked, immoral, wrong, and evil, and expect a good ending.


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