Rollin' Like Sisyphus

Officially A Banker’s Dozen

Posted in The Fail Pail by Huckleberry on February 9, 2015


Another Week, 3 More Bankers Down | Daily Mail UK

The banker who murdered his wife before killing himself with a stab wound to the chest texted his father shortly before the attack, it has emerged. The bodies of Michael Tabacchi, 27, who worked for JPMorgan Chase, and his 41-year old wife Iran Denise Pars Tabacchi were found in their home in Closter, New Jersey, on Friday. The couple’s fifteen-month-old baby boy, August James, was discovered uninjured at their home, in the same bedroom where the two killings happened. Mr Tabacchi’s father arrived at the scene shortly after his son committed suicide, a neighbor said, after receiving a text message from him. Bergen County prosecutor John Molinelli said Sunday that Iran Tabacchi was strangled and suffered a stab wound – while Michael Tabacchi stabbed himself … ‘Autopsy on Closter couple shows wife died from strangulation and single stab wound to chest. Husband died from self inflicted stab chest.’

Just as it’s quite difficult to suffocate one’s self, it is incredibly difficult to stab yourself in the chest with sufficient force to kill yourself from the trauma of it — this is why everyone from the Vikings to the Samurai favored stomach-cavity vivisection instead.
For the other bankers, one was killed in last week’s NY commuter train crash — which by itself isn’t odd, but his family swears he was alive and well in the hospital following the crash, “getting X-rays” according to hospital staff, then was told the next day that he had died immediately in the crash.
The third banker was killed in an avalanche while on holiday, making the second banker in two weeks killed in that way. Not exactly a smoking gun, but worthy of tracking.
Also, digging around, it’s pretty clear that all of this began in January of 2013 with a noticeable spike that continued unabated to present — total dead bankers killed under questionable or suspicious circumstances in that time is 77. I’m still debating whether I should push back the counter to then; I’m leaning toward yes, but it’s more footwork to compile and format all that info.
We’ll see.


2 Responses

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  1. Doom said, on February 9, 2015 at 10:17

    Just do it! I mean, I vote aye. Sure, your the tyrant of the place, but it is democratic tyranny, right?

    As to the Samurai and Vikings, their blades were too long for easy use. While many tout that tanto, that is a modern fiction. Viking tech, except for some rare specimens, didn’t offer very sharp swords, and no daggers of any real worth. While today you can buy a blade that will easily allow suicide by stabbing. However, if I were a 27 year old banker, of the mid to upper echelons, I am quite sure I not only could, but would, have a better means available. I’m thinking the easiest would be to face palm a kilo of uncut cocaine, innit? Just some thoughts.

    It’s up to 77? Impressive. I am amazed so many, knowing the score from looking around at those who went before them, aren’t relatively clued in by now. All I can imagine is that ‘the system’ needs or wants specific people in those positions, or needs to do something in the absence of someone in that position… where the costs simply aren’t a part of the equation. Nasty business any way you look at it. Then again, sell your soul, expect a collector at any moment, I suppose.

  2. El Borak said, on February 9, 2015 at 18:27

    I’d be happier if more of them were named Dimon.

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