Rollin' Like Sisyphus

The Dangers Inherent With Bringing A Hug To A Crusade

Posted in A Chronicle Of Decline by Huckleberry on February 20, 2015
How do you solve a problem like Maria Aayat abu el Safir bin Yusea?

How do you solve a problem like Maria Aayat abu el Safir bin Yusea?

An interesting question – is this whole ISIS kerfuffle merely an attempt to cram in the Islamic apocalypse before the Evangelicals can cram in theirs?

Now that it has taken Dabiq, the Islamic State awaits the arrival of an enemy army there, whose defeat will initiate the countdown to the apocalypse. Western media frequently miss references to Dabiq in the Islamic State’s videos, and focus instead on lurid scenes of beheading. “Here we are, burying the first American crusader in Dabiq, eagerly waiting for the remainder of your armies to arrive,” said a masked executioner in a November video, showing the severed head of Peter (Abdul Rahman) Kassig, the aid worker who’d been held captive for more than a year. During fighting in Iraq in December, after mujahideen (perhaps inaccurately) reported having seen American soldiers in battle, Islamic State Twitter accounts erupted in spasms of pleasure, like overenthusiastic hosts or hostesses upon the arrival of the first guests at a party.

While that does sound like a Dabba-Doo time, most of the conversation regarding all of this focuses around What Do We DO About It? The way I see it, after some not-very-careful study, we (in the royal United States sense) have four options:


Despite what common convention would have you believe, nominally bombing an enemy that we really don’t seem all that bothered about calling an enemy all along the periphery isn’t the foundation for a winning strategy. Despite the fact that the US trained and armed a faction of Syrian rebels as a way to oust Assad, and that faction formed an important core of what is now lovingly termed ISIS, the current strategy is following the same line: arming and training a faction of rebels who have token issues with ISIS. We’ve even given them radios with which they can use to direct air strikes and call for CAS – what could go wrong? Minimal air strikes, nominal supplies to a constantly shifting cohort who claims they want to take down ISIS today but could just as easily declare allegiance tomorrow, and a military/civilian leadership doing the absolute minimum necessary for PR purposes.
Obviously, this is a sure, 100% losing strategy.


A full-scale combined arms campaign with tens of thousands of boots on the ground (and then in their asses) as the United States and perhaps a few others form a tacit coalition to reinvade Iraq and/or push into Syria, engage ISIS, disrupt their ability to control territory and conduct commerce and, eventually, kill them all. However, it’s worth noting that after almost a decade of boots on the ground in Iraq, the end result was a fertile ground for ISIS to entrench itself. Despite the bravado and the psychopathic embrace of their eschatological mandate, this is a military force well-practiced in the art of tactical withdrawal for strategic purposes. Once again, the coalition military will likely find the initial going quick and easy, as forward operating bases quickly become rearward admin posts. That’s where the familiar game of 4GW attrition takes over and tests coalition resolve. And unless the United States is prepared to spend the next century fully colonizing the entire region (which it doesn’t have the will or resources to accomplish) this will all be for naught. Once US boots, er, pull out it’s Game On for the next iteration of ISIS. And unless the colonization involves some rather brutal stewardship – there’s a reason it took a Saddam Hussein to pacify the place – it will do far more damage to the US in just about every way that matters.
In this context, with a creaking civilization that’s papering over all of its liabilities with more liabilities, mired with a fractured and diverse population, this is a losing strategy.


It’s difficult to fight something with nothing; even bombs dropped in the name Apple Pie and Chevrolet mean little when there is nothing but a vacuum behind the platitudes. The best chance for a decisive military victory against a non-secular, religious army is to meet it with a non-secular, religious army. Raise a Christian army and send it off to raze the place Sherman-to-the-beach style; Have Nukes, Will Travel. Hell, it doesn’t even have to be Christians. Raise an army of Shintos and resurrect the samurai tradition and show the bastards a little something about ritual beheadings.
This probably won’t work, but of all the active, fight-them-there-so-we-don’t-fight-them-here strategies, it has the best potential for success, and a long and storied history of triumphs and failures upon which to build an offensive.
Just don’t call it a crusade.


Don’t bomb them with drones and joint-strike fighters, don’t arm and train temporarily opposing factions, don’t twist the rhetoric six ways from Ramadan about who is and who is not practicing Islam. Close the borders, bring the troops home from most or all posts abroad, intern and/or deport all those with questionable origins or affiliations, fortify the borders and the seas and protect only American interests within a greatly reduced sphere of influence. Let ISIS be ISIS and swarm across Arabia, Africa, Europe and Central Asia, and let the members of what will be the former EU realize the true folly of trying to establish an empire based solely on monopoly money. NATO’s mandate was to protect against Soviet aggression, and I have it on good authority that they’re still gone and at any rate ISIS ain’t RED.

This is the only thing that has a better than even chance of success, so of course it isn’t even an option for discussion.
Good luck.


2 Responses

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  1. El Borak said, on February 20, 2015 at 08:49

    so of course it isn’t even an option for discussion.

    You done said it all right there.

  2. Giraffe said, on February 20, 2015 at 09:50

    Heck call it a crusade. I might even go.

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