Nothing like waking up on a Friday morning, bleary and punch-drunk, without so much as a drop of alcohol having entered your system, after having watched your football team lose its second crucial division game in four days.
Pointlessness is the point of that complaint, in case you were curious.
So it’s Friday.
Blink a few times, take a nap, before you know it you’re tumbling straight through Monday.
But that’s my problem.
So what’s up for the weekend?
It’s Harvest Time here at Casa de Huckleberry, plucking the persimmon trees of all their devilish fruit before the marauding swarms of parrots descend upon us in a Hitchcockian nightmare of feathers, blood and guano.
Beats New York, though, which if I have it right just confirmed a new ebola case – a doctor who also apparently didn’t follow all of the protocols – and it’s looking like the idiot went bowling in rented shoes the night before he was rushed to the hospital.
So nothing to worry about.
For the recipe, we’re going to go with a simple snack for bacon lovers, and the music is, well, it is what it is.
Have a great weekend, and get ‘em in.
All you need is several bacon slices and an equal number of bread sticks or those pretzel stick things, some seasonings, and some drawn butter..
Take an uncooked bacon slice and wrap it around a bread stick or a pretzel stick. Do this for all.
Season with Lawry’s salt or a decent pork dry rub, then coat lightly with drawn butter.
Heat up the grill and shoot for about 325 – you want indirect heat so keep the coals on one side or use only one burner.
Place the bacon-wrapped on the grill, cover, and let them cook for about 45 minutes.
When they’re done, let ‘em cool down for about 5 minutes and serve.
Hit ‘em with some Tabasco or Tapitio sauce if you want some heat, or dip ‘em in ranch if you want to flirt with an infarction.
Lawless & Lulu
DreamWorks | 1999
A giver of life, a destroyer of civilizations.
So yeah, let’s cram that into a bottle “with magnets” and see how well the power grid holds up.
Anyway, head’s up:
A series of three massive solar flares over the past week has bathed Earth in higher than normal amounts of radiation, with the potential to temporarily black out radio communication and navigational equipment if the sun was hitting that part of the planet.
Trouble may be a’brewing, and given which way the winds are blowing, an extra half-step may make all the difference in the world.
No, not the Predators, but with his monotonous, rambling speeches that carry on ceaselessly without respite or remorse.
A crowd of fund-raisees in deep blue Maryland said ENOUGH and shuffled out of a 45-minute speechification by Our Simple Affirmative Action President barely 10 minutes into the proceedings:
President Barack Obama made a rare appearance on the campaign trail on Sunday with a rally to support the Democratic candidate for governor in Maryland, but early departures of crowd members while he spoke underscored his continuing unpopularity.
That’s rough, brother.
But don’t worry, Facebook’s got your back:
Some people are not happy with a Yahoo News story on a large portion of the crowd walking out on President Obama at a Maryland campaign speech Sunday — and they’re reporting it as spam. The walkout story is embarrassing to the president and casts a negative light on Democrats’ prospects on the eve of the November election. As political passions heat up, some people are letting their emotions get the better of them and reporting links to Facebook as spam.
Since Facebook is nothing but spam that pays for the privilege of bothering you, I find this amusing.
Of course, despite the weekly stories on the dwindling popularity of Our Simple Affirmative Action President, it’s worth noting that these have been a staple of pundits across the board since late 2009. The man’s entire run is marked by falling but never being fallen – his presidency is perfectly analogous to his speech; one long session of droning on and on to the point where people just get up and leave.
That’d be the inscription I’d place on the entrance to his library, if I had anything to say about it.
In other news, NO NEW EBOLA CASES IN FIVE (5) DAYS!!!!11!1! according to the media, despite grumblings that several African nations have simply 1) stopped counting new cases and/or 2) stopped releasing data to the public.
I’ve seen some mighty fine book-cookin’ in my day, but that takes the cake right there.
It’s about that time – on the south side of October, most of the Halloween stuff has long been cleared out of the stores in favor of Christmas wares, and it’s a chilly 77 degrees outside as I type this. Not sure what happened, but this week seemed to go at a normal pace – I’m neither surprised nor alarmed by the arrival of yet another Friday, so we’ll mark that in the books as win.
What’s on tap for the weekend?
Nothing much around here. Because I’m tired of burning out cheap Black & Decker weedwackers in my nearly indomitable back yard, I’m going to build my own. Drew up some plans last weekend and I’ve been picking up the pieces I need throughout the week.
A high amp electric motor, hard PVC tubing for the frame, a throttle control board with a dimming slider to control the motor’s RPM, and some other assorted goodies.
We’ll see how it goes.
It’s worth noting, beyond metaphor, how Our Simple Affirmative Action Government can’t even get its high-ranking officials home from overseas on important junkets, yet we’re to be assured that dozens of issues are well within its purview to contain.
I feel reassured, I can’t speak for y’all.
Have a bitchin’ weekend and get ‘em in.
This is a simple marinade for smoking any kind of pork, but it works especially well for spare ribs and whole picnic shoulders. One of the things that’s all the rage now is “injections”, injecting a marinade deep into the meat.
That’s cheating, and I abhor the practice.
Just whip up this marinade and let the meat soak it up naturally, then apply your rub and get to it.
3 quarts apple juice
2 tablespoons Tapitio sauce
1/2 cup apple vinegar
1 cup A-1 sauce
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup olive oil
1/2 cup lemon juice
1/2 cup salt
Mix everything in a bowl, then put it on a low flame and bring it to a slow boil. Make sure the sugar cooks down, then let it cool. Place in a container or bag with your trimmed meat and let it work overnight.
Los Angeles Is Burning
The Empire Strikes First
Epitaph Records | 2004
So Lockheed Martin announced earlier this week that it wants to put a little sunshine in your back pocket with a “revolutionary” thermo-nuclear fusion reactor. They have created a rather impressive set of marketing materials designed to attract venture capital for the project, materials that are boastful and vague:
To mimic the energy created by the sun and control it here on earth, we’re creating a concept that can be contained using a magnetic bottle. The bottle is able to handle extremely hot temperatures, reaching hundreds of millions of degrees. By containing this reaction, we can release it in a controlled fashion to create energy we can use. The heat energy created using this compact fusion reactor will drive turbine generators by replacing the combustion chambers with simple heat exchangers. In turn, the turbines will then generate electricity or the propulsive power for a number of applications.
Could this work?
Would I want to be on a boat, a plane or in a building with, basically, the heat and fury of the fucking sun trapped in a bottle, trying desperately to get out, while the only thing holding a near-instantaneous incineration of everything I know and love at bay is a magnetic field – which is difficult to keep stable in even ideal environments — powered through a constant flow of electricity that can blink out at any time due to external circumstance or internal interference?
No, I think I’ll skip that altogether, if it’s all the same to you.
Besides, this makes it seem like the only thing keeping fusion reactors locked in the realm of pipe dreams is unwieldy size. In fact, if the reaction could be made 1) safe and 2) efficient, someone would have made a building-sized thermo-nuclear reactor workable. The fact is that this is one of the few instances where size truly doesn’t matter. We’ve had hot fusion reactors available for more than half a century.
It’s been widely accepted – and I agree – that the only practical fusion reactor for power generation is one that uses a cold-fusion process, which would also theoretically be compact and efficient. However, that just may not be feasible either, because it’s been more than 50 years and we’re not there, so don’t put away your fossil fuels quite yet.
I’ll just let a GOP “strategist” lay it out there, and see if you can guess what I’m driving at here:
Current conditions are so favorable for the GOP — including the president’s poor poll numbers, the states with Senate races, the lower turnout of Democratic groups in midterm elections, the quality of this cycle’s Republican Senate recruits and the daily dose of negative news that should help the party not holding the White House — that Republican Senate gains of fewer than six seats would be a punch to the party’s solar plexus.
Okay, I put the relevant part in bold.
I couldn’t help myself.
But honestly, the fact that these fears are being aired in, as the strategist suggests, such a favorable environment underscores just how pathetically awful the GOP is these days. Let’s put that on a campaign button for Election Day – Don’t Vote-Gut Punch 50% Of The Deserving.
In other news, “confirmed” cases of US ebola have gone up 100% overnight, as another health care worker contracts the virus. But don’t worry, she was quarantined “90 minutes” after reporting her fever. And it’s not like she was on a plane with 132 other people a mere 12 hours before:
A second Texas nurse who has tested positive for Ebola was on a commercial jetliner from Cleveland to Dallas the night before she arrived at the hospital with a fever and was later diagnosed with the deadly virus, officials said today.
Given the state of the world at the moment, one does have to ask the decreasingly rhetorical question of what comes first – the incompetence or the decline. While each naturally reinforces the other, are we more dumb and incompetent as a result of sliding down the southern slope of civilization, or are we using dullardry and incompetence as the cross-country skiing sticks to push us along more quickly?
I guess when we finally get to the end of the ride, the answer to that question won’t matter.
In the meantime, though, a modicum of mental alacrity is important to hold on to, so let’s sift the question around the back of our minds while we dive into a grab-bag of suck.
First up, let’s calibrate hopelessly provincial sensibilities to a more global perspective:
• The average person is worth $56,000.
• If you have $3,650, including the value of your home, you’re among the wealthiest half of people in the world. (This is net wealth – so, once debts have been subtracted.) The other half own less than 1pc of global wealth, while 77pc of adults – that’s 3.3bn people – have less than $10,000.
• The top 10pc of people – membership requirement is $77,000 – hold 87pc of the world’s wealth.
• You need $798,000 to make it into the top percentile of the world’s wealthiest. This select group accounts for almost half – 48.2pc – of global assets.
If cost-of-living were universal, the world would tip off its axis in a handful of hours.
And hey, call me old fashioned, but I’m pretty sure most of the world’s wealth is still underground.
Moving on, it’s worth noting that the Stormin’ Mormon is a lot like Marvelous Marvin Hagler in demanding a rematch that can’t constitutionally take place:
People in Romney’s vast political orbit who are waiting and wishing on him to launch another campaign said Romney has done little to quiet them and has been hazy about his plans following next month’s midterm elections. Former Minnesota governor Tim Pawlenty (R), who briefly ran against Romney in 2012 before becoming a close ally, said he wants to see Romney give it another go. “There is a feeling that the country missed out on an exceptional president,” Pawlenty said.
The fun part of this act is where the Stormin’ Mormon plays coy, making it seem as though he’ll have to be “drafted” into running again, just like he was “drafted” in 2012 and 2008.
I’m sorry, but you don’t get pushed into running for president even once, let alone three consecutive times.
But it would save me the trouble from having to come up with a nickname for the eventual GOP nominee if Romney spins the bottle one more time, so there’s that.
The President of Guatemala has a surefire plan to help the United States curb illegal immigration – pay off his country with “billions” of dollars:
Last month, the three countries pitched Washington an ambitious development plan to confront the issue. They want to pump about $10 billion into the region to create jobs and lift living standards, with the bulk of funding coming from the United States, Perez told Reuters.
What could go wrong?
And finally, I’ve already told the Wife that if any of these clowns happen upon me, I’m shooting on sight:
The latest after-dark sighting came Saturday, when police in Bakersfield responded around 8 p.m. to a report of a clown holding a firearm. Officers searched but didn’t find anyone. The Bakersfield Californian reports that the latest sighting came after a week during which police received numerous calls about scary or mischievous clowns. According to the newspaper, police said they have arrested one minor who acknowledged dressing up and chasing younger juveniles.
Top CDC bureaucrat takes time out from studying the ills of fifth-hand smoking to calm a nervous public:
“We have the ability to prevent a spread in Ebola … We know from many years of experience that it’s possible to care for patients with Ebola safely, without risk to health care workers.”
Well Hell, if only protocol were followed, we’d be all clear. What protocol wasn’t followed, you ask?
You tell me:
“I think the fact that we don’t know of a breach in protocol is concerning, because clearly there was a breach in protocol,” CDC Director Dr. Tom Frieden concurred in an appearance on CBS News.
So there you go. They have no idea how the breach in protocol happened, but that it must have happened, because even idiots qualified for government work know that ebola is only transmitted via direct contact between bodily fluids and that protocols are foolproof and failsafe.
That most of the infected are also health care workers following the same protocols to no good effect shouldn’t force anyone in charge of these things to question either 1) the effectiveness of ebola prevention protocols or 2) the communication of those protocols, because apparently they’re either ineffective or too complex to implement by, well, anyone treating the infected.
To be honest, the biggest threat isn’t even direct transmission from West Africa to the United States.
My fear is when this thing hits some other densely populated and poorly run country, gets a six-month head start on incubating all kinds of neat mutations, then comes at the United States from 39 different places simultaneously.
I can’t speak for y’all, but I’m just about ready for this week to be over and done with. For as much as I don’t like people as a practical matter — in the abstract we’re all good — they sure do want a piece of me, at least this week.
Nothing much on the agenda this weekend. After a relatively cool week temp wise, the mercury is set to hit about 100 again for both Saturday and Sunday.
So yard work should be fun.
Other than that, I’ll be keeping track of ebola — a much easier task now that the talking heads are getting worked into a bit of a lather over it — and it’s worth noting that the math isn’t in our favor.
I note the cautious glee with which conservative political pundits are greeting the news that deadlocked election polls appear to be breaking their way, maybe.
I’ll still laugh if they lose.
Our Simple Affirmative Action President and his trusty sidekick Vice President-Sheriff Joe Biden have been in town all week, crushing the weary souls of the region’s travelers amid unholy gridlock while shaking what’s left of the Donor Class for cash.
Have a kick-ass weekend, stay cool and/or warm as the situation dictates, and get ‘em in.
Huck’s Burger Dogs
This one is simple, and kids tend to really enjoy it too.
Chop up a quality hot dog into small pieces, mix with diced onions and ground chuck, then instead of pressing into patties, form them into the shape of hot dogs. Let them chill in the fridge before grilling, then cook ‘em at about 325 until they’re done.
Serve on hot dog buns and top with chili and cheese.
Depending on how lean the chuck meat is, you may have problems with the burger dogs breaking up as you grill them. The more fat in the meat, the better they’ll hold together, but even if they break apart a little, slop the remains into buns and enjoy.
Southside of Heaven
Lost Highway Records | 2007
For all the kvetching about the value of labor, very little is actually placed in the pursuit anymore. To a degree, this is due to the corruption of the relationship between labor, the product of labor, and the compensation exchanged for the time it takes to perform labor.
In the old paradigm, the end goal was the paramount concern – shoe the horses, tend the fields, forge the metalwork – whatever the trade, you could usually draw a clear line between the labor and its product, but only the product had value.
The problem today is that only the last part of that is still true – the value is inherent in the result, not the process. If you’re a shitty blacksmith, it doesn’t matter how much effort you exert or how long you spend forging your metalwork; if no one wants to buy it, you starve. If a lot of people want to buy it, you take on an apprentice.
With as many checkpoints as there are now between a body and the tangible results of his labor, it doesn’t take a long-winding exegesis to describe how fewer and fewer people regard the concept of a work ethic as anything more than a quaint relic of days gone by – you know, among the ones that can still read. The concept of a work ethic, while easily conflated with the labor theory of value by the unique brand of dullards produced by the stamp mill of 21st century American academia, the two concepts couldn’t exist any farther apart on the spectrum of Things Academics Always Get Wrong.
While there are obviously numerous differences between the two, it mainly boils down to the distinction between efficiency and expediency. True efficiency is honed through careful trial and error, while expediency is all about simplifying the immediate obstacles to reach the day’s finish line and punch out the clock.
Which one do you think pays dividends in the end?
I guess it doesn’t matter, though, because robots and software will be doing all of the jobs soon, even those of the cushy white-collar cubicle farm dwellers.
That’s when the fun begins.