Maidens Aspiring To Godheads, Plus Playoff Picks

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Cheer up.
IT’S THE GODDAMN SUPER BOWL.
Still not feeling it?
Yeah.
Me either.
I have no idea what’s been going on with THE BIG GAME. I started to hear the beginnings of SJW rumblings about FRESH PRINCE OF QB versus WHITE PRIVELEGE QB and I just shut it off entirely. I have no idea who is injured, who isn’t or anything else. I know the teams playing, I know vaguely that the Panthers are 4.5 point favorites and that the line hasn’t moved at all in two weeks, which is odd for a Super Bowl, but what can you do.
So this post will probably be more sparse than it should be because I simply don’t know.
From everything I’ve seen this season and in the playoffs especially, Carolina should win this fairly easily. Their defense is stout everywhere it needs to be and Ron Rivera is a head coach who learned very quickly that playing to not lose is not the same as playing to win, and he’s played to win ever since. Cam Newton, despite all the hype, isn’t the greatest QB of all time all of a sudden, and it’s hilarious how quickly the talking heads want to forget everything they’ve chided him about for the past four years now that he’s all of a sudden in the Super Bowl and down just enough to keep his defense rested. I’ve watched quite a few Panthers games this season and for the life of me nothing the guy has done on the field sticks in my head. I remember plenty of horrible throws, tackles for loss while he impersonates OLD MIKE VICK and many more three-and-outs than impressive drives. Yet they’ve outscored everyone in the league by a ridiculous margin, only lost once in a laugher game to the Falcons, and here they are.
All that being said, given that this just may be Peyton Manning’s last game, all bets are off.
DO NOT GAMBLE ON THIS GAME, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN IN A GAME LIKE THIS.
An emotional, leave-it-all-on-the-field performance from one of the greatest to ever play the game, an emotional tide that can buoy the entire team to play out of their minds, uncharacteristic sloppy or milquetoast play from Carolina, or the NFL fixing the game to ensure that Manning gets to go out on top.
ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN, which means the smart money stays in your wallet.
And for a guy like me to say that, brother, you better take heed.
So I’ve made my pick but nothing’s riding on it, NOT THAT I GAMBLE ANYWAY.
As for the game itself, I don’t really want to watch it, but I know I probably will. Of course if I do under the proviso that it’s Manning’s last game, and then he ends up playing for the Los Angeles Rams next season, I’m going to be pissed.
But alas.

PLAYOFF PICKS – SUPER BOWL

STRAIGHT UP

CAR v DEN | CAR

AGAINST THE SPREAD

CAR v DEN | CAR -4.5

CHAMPIONSHIP ROUND RESULTS

STRAIGHT UP

NE v @DEN | NE — INCORRECT
@CAR v ARI | CAR – CORRECT

AGAINST THE SPREAD

NE v @DEN | NE -3 – INCORRECT
@CAR v ARI | CAR -3 – CORRECT

DIVISIONAL RESULTS

STRAIGHT UP

@NE v KC | NE – CORRECT
@ARI v GB | ARI – CORRECT
@CAR v SEA | CAR – CORRECT
@DEN v PIT | DEN – CORRECT

AGAINST THE SPREAD

@NE v KC | KC +5 – INCORRECT
@ARI v GB | GB +7 – CORRECT
@CAR v SEA | CAR -2.5 – CORRECT
@DEN v PIT | PIT +6.5 – CORRECT

WILD CARD ROUND RESULTS

STRAIGHT UP

KC v @HOU | KC — CORRECT
PIT v @CIN | PIT — CORRECT
SEA v @MIN | MIN — INCORRECT
GB v @WAS | GB — CORRECT

AGAINST THE SPREAD

KC v @HOU | KC -3 — CORRECT
PIT v @CIN | PIT -2.5 — INCORRECT
SEA v @MIN | MIN +4.5 — CORRECT
GB v @WAS | GB -1 — CORRECT

2016 RECORD

STRAIGHT UP | 8-2
AGAINST THE SPREAD | 7-3

ALL-TIME RECORD 2013-2016

STRAIGHT UP | 24-11
AGAINST THE SPREAD | 22-12-1

Good Music Friday

Good Lord, blink one time and before you know it a third of February is down the shitter. It’s getting to the point where I’m confusing the bills. DIDN’T I JUST PAY THIS FUCKING THING? Yes, you did a month ago. But, like the dollars in your pocket, a month just ain’t what it used to be.
GETTING OLD IS FUCKING AWESOME.
Anyway.
So CLINTON II’s only remaining constituency seems to be Wall Street banks, Russian despots and cranky old single white women, if the past week’s events are any indicator. Despite “winning” Iowa, CLINTON II is playing it like a loser, agreeing to a shitload more debates to try and keep her head above water, all the while waiting for the HAMMER OF JUSTICE to swing down and crush her dreams from up on high, sending her off to Federal Pound-Her-In-The-Ass Prison, because for fuck’s sake they took down Nixon for less.
But I don’t want to waste anymore time today on anything as unimportant as “elections” and the like. Let it end there, in the gravel quarry, rotting along with Hoffa and what’s left of the 1976 Philadelphia Flyers. Would that all of life’s troubles could so be cast out to safely decompose, but that’s not the world we live in.
No, we get the wonderful world fat harpies screeching incoherently for RETWEETS and LIKES and REBLOGS and HEARTS and fuck all else. All I can say for sure is that it’s Friday, I’m going to drink enough tonight to crash lesser economies, and truth be told I’ve already begun so there’s no stopping this train now. Still a few more crooked miles till morning.
On that note, have a bitchin’ weekend and get ‘em in.
I’ll have my Super Bowl post/pick up tomorrow.

SONG SELECTION

Prison Bound
Live Performance
Social Distortion
Guitar Center Sessions Las Vegas | 2011


Q: Is This Hell? A: Nope, It’s Iowa

Election Season is GO.
One down, and it was a pip.
The Iowa Caucuses are a funny thing. Winning them can be as detrimental as losing them, depending on the prevailing social mood.
Here’s a list of previous winners of the Iowa Caucuses spanning my time on this Earth, this gay miserable Earth:

    Rick Santorum
    Barack Obama
    Mike Huckabee
    John Kerry
    George W. Bush
    Al Gore
    Bob Dole
    Tom Harkin
    Dick Gephardt
    Bob Dole
    Walter Mondale
    George H.W. Bush
    Uncommitted (twice!)

How many of those went on to become president in that election cycle?
Two out of 14.
Iowa doesn’t exactly have its finger on the pulse of the country, but it’s still the type of horse-trading and politicking that everyone likes to crow about, so let’s unleash the murder (of crows. A murder of crows, for those in the government who happen by this post. Thank you for your service.) That being said, however, save for a few exceptions the state actually does a better job at sorting out each party’s eventual nominee a lot better than one would be led to believe by the press constantly insisting that “Iowa always choses the loser because the last guy lost” or some such. So when those data points are taken into account, one simply has to accept the fact that this, along with every other primary to come, is less a prognostication than it is for a limited barometer with extenuating circumstances.
Cruz won, but in a way so did Trump, and despite my white-hot loathing for this type of punditry, Rubio really did emerge as a winner as well. He’s the official Pool Boy of THE ESTABLISHMENT class, Republican Edition, and I’m fairly certain sometime between New Hampshire and South Carolina, JEB! will either call it quits or have the plug pulled on him. As for the others, the theory that the exceedingly high turnout was a “response” to Trump to “drown out the interloper” is incorrect, when one considers that Trump’s constituency doesn’t overlap that of Cruz or Rubio hardly at all. The higher numbers support my theory that they are the political neophytes on board the Trump Train, with Rubio and Cruz garnering the numbers that they roughly would’ve had anyway.
How that plays out down the stretch is anyone’s guess at this point, but if the same effect doesn’t take place in New Hampshire and South Carolina, and by a lot, I don’t think the Trump Train makes it to the Super Tuesday station in one piece.
As for the Democrats, oh holy Hell is this going to be a show.
With every shady trick in the book, including bussing in outsiders, disappearing ballot results from entire precincts, and rigging coin flips so a Tom Stoppard-esque six coin flips in a row all fall for CLINTON II, and the convict-elect still only won by .4% despite leading in the polls by double digits just a couple of weeks ago, and now heads to New Hampshire where she trails by double digits, with many more delegates at stake.
I’m beginning to wonder, if one accepts the Conspiracy Theory of History, whether the pending indictment is simply an escape hatch designed as a failsafe for those unsure among the Powers That Be that CLINTON II could actually win an election with any plausibility. It may just be time for them to punch out.
Away we go.

Good Music Friday

FUCK IT ALL, FRIDAY.
I really am amazed at the speed with which it arrived this time. About 16 minutes ago I was at my buddy’s house, drinking beers and watching playoff football. Somehow, in 16 minutes, an entire work week has transpired.
FUCK YOUR PHYSICS.
Can’t say shit about time, can’t say shit about anything.
Out in the world, everything seems to be pooling into the GOTRUMP/DIETRUMP dichotomy, and though I’ve touched briefly on it already this week, let’s dig a little deeper.
A few observations:

    Trump has an inordinate number of supporters who are neophytes to the political system

    Nearly all who at least nominally support him among non-neophytes, the primary reason for that support is Trump’s function as a cudgel against entrenched political entities and/or as a flashpoint for the coalescing of a strong nationalist party

    The anti-Trump faction comprises a broad swath of the rest of the electorate. There are few fencesitters regarding Trump, and it is less likely that he would gain any significant increase in support as his competitors drop out of the race

    If elected, Trump will not attempt to follow through on any of the things he’s led people to believe he supports

Given that, any hopes that Trump’s candidacy leads to a meaningful nationalist party seem inextricably linked to his own dismal fortunes – he needs to lose the primary and do so in a way that appears he got robbed of it. Any other outcome – winning the nomination and fizzling out in the general election or winning the nomination and then the presidency – relegates everything to the dustbin of US electoral history, right there next to the Perot straw hats and Barry Goldwater buttons. In that event, the neophytes go home, those hoping for a wrecking ball fragment and seek out ever-narrowing niches that scratch their particular itch, and the antis keep tugging everything ever-leftward.
But wait a minute, Huck. Just wait one goddamn second there. THERE WILL TO BE A NATIONALIST MOVEMENT WHETHER TRUMP WINS OR LOSES.
First, I’m not convinced a nationalist movement is a good thing, nor is it inevitable. People always think that, in retrospect, critical mass is always inevitable when in fact it’s an extremely fragile thing that requires every link in an extensive chain to hook up just right. The odds, as they say, are against it otherwise it’d be happening all the time.
But back to my point. Given the uncomfortable combination of neophytes and marketing types in the mix, the best and near only way I can see of achieving the type of critical mass necessary for an effective and sustained movement post-Trump is to get him out of the way as soon as possible, and get everyone angry as all Hell. Otherwise a lot of people shrug and head home, while those who are left re-brand and fracture into various competing movements with no hope achieving anything.
All that being said, though, I am eternally grateful that Trump saved us from BUSH III – THE SHRUBBENING.
Closer to home, I’ve got three spectacular days off waiting for me, so I’m going to drink myself stupid and attempt to catch up on some projects.
Hopefully that’ll work out.
Get ‘em in and have a great weekend, y’all.

SONG SELECTION

Suicide
Fighting
Thin Lizzy
Vertigo Records | 1975


Fuck You, It’s January – Trump 2016 Edition

So the 2016 presidential election cycle, which started sometime around Thanksgiving of 2014, has already exhausted even the most ardent political hounds, forced several candidates to the flee the race, and has everyone gaming out how it’s “all but over” without a single vote as yet cast. That comes Monday evening, where we see a brief snapshot of the race that is entirely inhibited by the caucus system, and therefore tells you nothing meaningful at all.
But some delegates get apportioned out, so Go America.
As for Trump, there is something odd happening. People I know who’ve never given two shits about politics or voting are all in on the Trump Train. My brother-in-law, for example. He’s never voted for a thing in his life, never paid attention because he never really gave a shit. But he’s all in on Trump, registered and ready to vote, in the primary even. This is true of a few others as well. I get Trump’s appeal for them – plainspoken toughtalk. I get the appeal on a broader level, to an extent – middle finger to The Establishment, to The Cucks, to the idea that they were really going to foist a third Bush upon us – yet I’m not going to support the feckless sack of shit any more than I would any of the other feckless sacks of shit in the race. There are a lot of people, many of whom should know better, who are taking Trump at his word, when all of this is an application of strategic marketing to unserved constituency.
But make no mistake. The very second that the market shifts and it becomes profitable to fire on the nationalists and the anti-Cucks and the Red Pill Window Licker Brigade, that motherfucker isn’t going to flinch before pulling the trigger. In the abstract, let’s say Trump is the next Simple Affirmative Action President. Mexico’s not paying us to build a wall. We’re not building a wall. Trump is going to strike a deal with Mexico that’ll be such a great deal, we’ll end up paying them to continue taking their human refuse indefinitely.
Say what you want about the ART OF THE DEAL – it don’t mean shit if you don’t have it in writing, and for Trump, even that doesn’t matter.
As a practical matter, though, I can’t shake the feeling that the true conspiracy is playing out near flawlessly.
Follow me for a second.
IF Trump wins the GOP nomination, I will be absolutely convinced that the fix is in. Then, come October, some nefarious Trump skeleton will tumble out of the closet* and upend his campaign and his longtime pal of a Democratic persuasion will cruise to an easy victory.
I don’t know.
I’ve seen the future, and it’s basically 100 neo-feudal fiefdoms, from sea to shining sea, so stick that in your craw and call it macaroni.

It Was The Worst Of Times, Plus Playoff Picks

carolina-panthers-topcats-6

It’s Saturday night, the weekend is getting away from me, and I’m just going to through this up. I was trying to play around with an audio/visual thing for this that would include the picks, but there are just too many bugs I need to work out to get it right.
So that’ll be something for the near future.
Anyway, playoff picks.

PLAYOFF PICKS – CHAMPIONSHIP ROUND

STRAIGHT UP

NE v @DEN | NE
@CAR v ARI | CAR

AGAINST THE SPREAD

NE v @DEN | NE -3
@CAR v ARI | CAR -3

DIVISIONAL RESULTS

STRAIGHT UP

@NE v KC | NE – CORRECT
@ARI v GB | ARI – CORRECT
@CAR v SEA | CAR – CORRECT
@DEN v PIT | DEN – CORRECT

AGAINST THE SPREAD

@NE v KC | KC +5 – INCORRECT
@ARI v GB | GB +7 – CORRECT
@CAR v SEA | CAR -2.5 – CORRECT
@DEN v PIT | PIT +6.5 – CORRECT

WILD CARD ROUND RESULTS

STRAIGHT UP

KC v @HOU | KC — CORRECT
PIT v @CIN | PIT — CORRECT
SEA v @MIN | MIN — INCORRECT
GB v @WAS | GB — CORRECT

AGAINST THE SPREAD

KC v @HOU | KC -3 — CORRECT
PIT v @CIN | PIT -2.5 — INCORRECT
SEA v @MIN | MIN +4.5 — CORRECT
GB v @WAS | GB -1 — CORRECT

2016 RECORD

STRAIGHT UP | 7-1
AGAINST THE SPREAD | 6-2

ALL-TIME RECORD 2013-2016

STRAIGHT UP | 23-10
AGAINST THE SPREAD | 21-11-1